Two posts in one day? I know! But I can't help it, I'm so excited! I wrote to a psychologist that I found on the Internet about the support group and she wrote me back saying that she was really interested and she would love to help me create the group. It looks like we’ll probably be having an eating disorder support group in Puerto Rico after all.
All of you who are interested to be a part of it don’t be shy to comment or e-mail me.
Yesterday it was all about my guilt trip. I felt fat, I ate some of my dad’s awesome pasta and I barely could fit on a pair of jeans size 0. I was on the verge of tears. I don’t want to get fat! Not again! Not after I had a taste of what was like to be thin. I know it’s wrong to think like that but I can’t help it. I even wished that I had diabetes type 2 so I could stay skinny. I mean, what the hell is wrong with me?
I’m so angry right now, but mostly disappointed. I was told that there was a support group for people with eating disorders here in Puerto Rico and just called today and apparently it doesn’t exist anymore. So, yeah, it may seem unbelievable, but there are no support groups for people with eating disorders here in Puerto Rico. How sad it’s that? There’s a growing incidence of eating disorders in this island and apparently nobody gives a damn. Well, since I give a damn about this, I’m going start Project: Support Group (I know, I know it sounds lame, but bear with me here. I'm to angry to think of a cool name right now) and I’m going to make this support group happen!
So, if you live in Puerto Rico and you have an eating disorder and you want a support group, help me make this happen! Leave a comment or email me.
After spending a summer in treatment, I was finally recovering from my anorexia. I was doing pretty well, actually. I was eating healthy, not feeling guilty or cutting down on my food and that annoying little voice was almost gone. Then… BANG! A week ago, another episode of depression hit me, bringing back the anxiety attacks, the cutting and leaving a small gap for that voice to creep back into my head… And boy was she hitting hard! I went back to my old ways. This time - and this was quite hard to admit because I was scared and a coward- I realized that there’s a part of me that doesn’t want this eating disorder to go away. There’s a part of me that even recent me for seeking help again and for telling all of this to my psychologist.
I know this is just the beginning. I know she’s going to put up a fight and there’re are going to be terrible days ahead, but I’m convince that I’m going to win and she’s going to lose. Tomorrow, I’m seeing a psychiatrist from the treatment center. They wanted me to start treatment right away but since I’m in college it was going to be quite hard. So until December, I’m going to be seeing their psychologist and psychiatrist and I’m going to be assisting to a support group.
Confession of the day: I skipped breakfast and I ate fifteen gummy bears this afternoon.
I was kind of skeptical at first on writing about my eating disorder, but it all changed after reading another blog. That blog helped me realize and admit a lot of things that I was scared I was too much of a coward to admit it. I hope that sharing my road to recovery helps you in some way, just like that blog helped me.